"Grief is not a disease. It's not an illness. It is, in fact, an expression of love." Dr Joanne Cacciatore
Grief is something that is in my daily life. I lost my grandpa September 2012. Today is one of the days that is really hard for me, today would be my grandpa's birthday. He would have been 87. Losing him, was one of the hardest times in my life because he was one of those people in my life that no matter what, he would never leave and would always take my side! He always stuck up for me and protected me, even when my aunts and uncles would verbally attack me, my grandpas OWN children. He always protected me. He had his flaws, no doubt, but I loved him for who he was.
I don't know how
to even deal with missing my grandpa besides cry. I was hoping and
wishing to have some wise words for those who read this but I can't
muster up any right now.
I miss my grandpas smile. I miss his laughing. As much as it grossed me out, I miss his belching. I miss his stories from his past. I miss going to the store with him. I miss our dance offs. I miss movie time. I miss cuddling with him. I miss sitting on his lap. I hate being tickled but I miss him tickling me. I miss working out with him. I miss gardening with him. I miss waking up and playing cards early in the mornings. I miss eating breakfast with just him before Grandma got up. I miss him tucking me in at night. I miss the way he said “I love you”. I miss him saying “You will always be my little flicka” (Flicka means girl). I miss being able to talk to him. I miss him protecting me. I miss the smell of his tobacco (even though I hated it.). I miss seeing him in his flannel shirts, jeans, boots and favorite belt buckle. I miss going on random, unexpected truck rides and going to the store, just to buy me a treat. I miss just sitting in the truck while he pumped gas. I miss spending all my time with him. I miss his wrinkled face that always had the great smile. I miss his bone cheeks. I miss riding in the trailer when we would clean the yard. I miss his strong and loving hugs. I miss stealing food off my dinner plate or even hiding it when I wasn't looking. I miss the little things that you think you would never forget and you sometimes you do. I miss everything about him.
Losing someone, you can't prepare yourself for losing someone. We know that death will happen, loss is inevitable. Grief isn't something you will ever get over fully. Some sorrows never fade. It won't stay the same though, I read somewhere and it said "Grief changes shape but it never ends". So it never really goes away, you just sort of learn to make room for it.
So tonight, I am letting the tears fall. I am letting God take this pain of grief because He truly is the only one who can help me. So my wise words for this post is, when you are grieving or have any type or problem, go to God. It seems that God uses the hard times because in that moment and the trails never seem to end, you can choose to lean on God's promises and truths. It's your choice to let God in or let Him watch on the side lines. If we didn't have trials we wouldn't be able to get the sweetness out of it, when God helps us. How we respond to trials is how we can show if we are bearing fruit in our life or not.
I choose to let the tears fall but I also choose to let God work in me. So, as the tears fall and in midst of a hard time, I will rejoice that God is good but that someday, there will be NO more pain and suffering. I am rejoicing because of what Romans 5:3-5 says.<3
I miss my grandpas smile. I miss his laughing. As much as it grossed me out, I miss his belching. I miss his stories from his past. I miss going to the store with him. I miss our dance offs. I miss movie time. I miss cuddling with him. I miss sitting on his lap. I hate being tickled but I miss him tickling me. I miss working out with him. I miss gardening with him. I miss waking up and playing cards early in the mornings. I miss eating breakfast with just him before Grandma got up. I miss him tucking me in at night. I miss the way he said “I love you”. I miss him saying “You will always be my little flicka” (Flicka means girl). I miss being able to talk to him. I miss him protecting me. I miss the smell of his tobacco (even though I hated it.). I miss seeing him in his flannel shirts, jeans, boots and favorite belt buckle. I miss going on random, unexpected truck rides and going to the store, just to buy me a treat. I miss just sitting in the truck while he pumped gas. I miss spending all my time with him. I miss his wrinkled face that always had the great smile. I miss his bone cheeks. I miss riding in the trailer when we would clean the yard. I miss his strong and loving hugs. I miss stealing food off my dinner plate or even hiding it when I wasn't looking. I miss the little things that you think you would never forget and you sometimes you do. I miss everything about him.
Losing someone, you can't prepare yourself for losing someone. We know that death will happen, loss is inevitable. Grief isn't something you will ever get over fully. Some sorrows never fade. It won't stay the same though, I read somewhere and it said "Grief changes shape but it never ends". So it never really goes away, you just sort of learn to make room for it.
So tonight, I am letting the tears fall. I am letting God take this pain of grief because He truly is the only one who can help me. So my wise words for this post is, when you are grieving or have any type or problem, go to God. It seems that God uses the hard times because in that moment and the trails never seem to end, you can choose to lean on God's promises and truths. It's your choice to let God in or let Him watch on the side lines. If we didn't have trials we wouldn't be able to get the sweetness out of it, when God helps us. How we respond to trials is how we can show if we are bearing fruit in our life or not.
I choose to let the tears fall but I also choose to let God work in me. So, as the tears fall and in midst of a hard time, I will rejoice that God is good but that someday, there will be NO more pain and suffering. I am rejoicing because of what Romans 5:3-5 says.<3
"Not only that, but we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. And hope does not not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." --Romans 5:3-5
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