Life of a Teenager Not Always Perfect: How Lucky Am I

Can't go Forwards?
Can't go Backwards?
You don't know
where to look
so you look down...?

....Well You can always look up to God.❤ :)

I have always wanted a mother and father who would love me for me and accept me for who I am. I have always wished for that. I have lived with my grandparents since the time I was 1 years old. People ask my why i don't look at them as parents. I just say I just don't know. My reason is, is because I know i have LIVING parents. My dad lives near by but I don't see him very much once or month or less, depending on what he needs. Sometimes money, sometimes food, sometimes we get his mail. He doesn't check in but i get blamed for being so distant from him. "He is YOUR father. you have no connection because you don't try to contact him. or go see him." I know is, I am the child and he is the adult. aren't the parents/adults suppose to do love there kids and try to make a bond with them. I guess mine is different.

I admit though, even through all this and not knowing my dad very well or him know what i like or dislike. I still love him!

I have always wanted to have a mom. Moms are like having a best friend! I think about what I could of had with my mom. how my life would be different if I was with her. How I could have had a happy child hood and 'normal' child hood. I wish that I had what some kids have.

I use to ALWAYS pray to god every night ever since i was 4 or 5 that he would bring my mother back..I stopped praying about it after 10 when i knew it wasn't going to happen.....

When I start wishing for what I did have, I think about what i DO have. I realize that I have grandparents who love me and a dad that does but doesn't know how to show it. Then I start thinking about if I was with my mom I wouldn't of met the people that I have in my life now. I DO have 'parents' who love me! I have MANY "moms" and 'dads'.

The families that I have here in my life now who are like my second family!

I have 3 families I can think of right of the top of me head. They do SO much for me and care SO much for me. They lead me to what is good and to where I should be.

My wishing of having my mom come back and my dad loving me and seeing me. I don't wish that anymore. I HAVE it all here right in front of me.

Each of these families have there own families but are such loving people count me in theirs.

Each of these families teach me something new...

First one: This family teaches me about Trust, trusting in God through ALL things. This family just lost a son. This family has had so much heart ache but still through it all. Teaches me more and more about trusting in God and living for him. God took that boy for a reason! He took that boy to heaven to live with him. This family taught me to Glorify God through Sadness, Happiness, Confusion, Depression, ect. because God is GOOD no matter what the circumstance.

Second Family: This family teaches me Love. This family has 4 kids. 4 adorable, loving, sweet, kind kids. 2 adults who love each other each and give support everyday. They haven't lost a son or lost anyone recently. I have gone through many many trials in the last 4 years. This family came into my life 3 years ago, the mother reached out to me and pulled me in and was and still is there for me when EVER i need it. She gives me advice through her own experiences and through the bible. She shows me love EACH and everyday. The family treats me like a daughter or sibling.

Third Family: This family teaches me about God and Kindness. This family is my Youth Pastor and his wife. My youth pastor teaches me EVERY wednesday about God. every week I learn something new. something I wouldn't of known if I didn't go to youth group. His Wife shows me Kindness everyday with an encouraging text message (Not everyday) I see her twice a week and everytime i do, I get a hug and a smile! I know I can always count on her for kind words, and truth. These two call me daughter and treat me like one, love me like one, care about me like one.

Bless these 3 families for what they teach me and for what they do for me.

If I didn't have there 3 families I don't know where I would be today. They are all such a BIG part of my life in my everyday life. God put them in my life for reasons, and I see part of the reason already! :D

HOW LUCKY AM I TO HAVE THESE WONDERFUL PEOPLE IN MY LIFE...