I find today that today has been the hardest day I have had in a long time. I feel not even worthless, I feel worse then that..I don't see a reason to try anymore or for talking or for breathing.... Just want to be done. I am in pain. So bad emotion wise it hurts physically. It drains me...
I realized I have no 'friends'. My Family hates me and my old friends hate me...I didn't know why at first but now... maybe I do because I hate me to....Today is one of those days where I realized that the pain I hold inside and the words I hold inside is just making me feel more pain..I needed to get these words out even if they don't make real sense...
My own father wants nothing to do with me. My family doesn't either...Why should I want anything to do with me? Why do I need to care if my family doesn't or over half the people I know don't care either? Seriously, why should I? I don't care about myself as I should...I make so many mistakes, and I KNOW God is enough but I feel like he has turned his back on me and I am just sitting in a hole that is about to be covered up and I am going to be suffocated? I'm depressed all the time, which I don't get why... but that seems to be my fault to.. along with my Mom leaving me. My family Hating me. My dad not caring. My Grandparents not really noticing...and Why I am the way I am?? Is it because I made the wrong choice? and I know I can control the choices I make... Why should I keep trying if all i do is pick the wrong choice?
Am I wrong to feel this way? Do i just need to suck it up and face reality?
Theses Answers...I never may get!
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