Most of you know that I have had a really rough family life. A broken family. Well back in January when my Grandma was away in the hospital for a month because of replacement hip surgery I stayed with a very sweet family from my church. My family didn't accept that, they wanted me home, they wanted to control me. They were scared that Grandma wouldn't come home. They were mad that I didn't want to stay home. I requested to my Grandma months before that I stay away because I hate being by myself. I hate being alone at night in our little town. Our town is a huge drug town and 3-4 weeks by myself, I would go insane. So I do admit, I kind of did bail out last minute. I tried to get my family to understand but I couldn't get them to, I couldn't get anyone to listen. They didn't get that I was scared too, I need someone and I didn't want to sit in my house and see reminders of my grandparents. My grandpa, whom I have always lost, and my grandma who was in the hospital. I didn't want to constantly think and wait to see if I would get a call to say my Grandma wasn't coming home. My family told me NOT to go to my grandma with my problems but my family was harassing me on facebook and I couldn't take it. My family listens to my Grandma, so they gave me no choice but to go to her. Anyway, my family has pretty much shunned me. They barely ever talk to me, which I can't complain. The drama is now free but my Grandma thinks it's her that they don't come visit. Not exactly, they don't come up but when they do, it's the weekend I work so I am not there. They come and go while I am working. I would like to see my little cousins but I am not sure my family will let me talk or really speak to them. I miss them so much.
ANYWAY, to the point. You get it, my family and I have problems. Who doesn't? It's now a couple months later and my family and I still have a hard time. I don't want to be the family that just gives up. So, tonight, I changed it. I stepped towards them first. I sent my 2 aunts, the ones I have the most problem with, messages on facebook how I was sorry for things I have done and for making poor choices. That I want to be family again. That I loved them and I just wanted things back to normal. I apologized more then once just to be clear. I miss my family. I told my one aunt that it's just that simple; I miss her. I miss her being my aunt.
My family may be crazy and full of drama sometimes but they are MY family, God gave them to me. I miss them and if I can stay in contact with them and fix things with them, I will. I feel God has been putting this on my heart, I needed to show them love and not hate.
I stood up and am showing my 2 aunt's love. Love that will always be there for them. I hope they accept my apology and if they don't, I don't have to regret not ever trying. I at least tried and I know I did my best.
Praying that God gets a hold of their hearts someday. They need Him. <3
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