So For Today

As I sit here in my PJ's at 10:30am, a blog post started to flow through my mind. I sit here and I can't help but feel overwhelmed. I had a pretty rough night last night, it turned from a very grumpy day to a cry fest night. This morning my eyes burn and my throat is scratchy. I started out crying because I was so grumpy and it was needed. Then I realized again that my grandpa isn't here, which made me cry harder! I miss my grandpa so much lately and there is a question that scares me more than any. Was my grandpa saved? In all honestly I want to say yes but in all honestly I really don't know if he was or not... It scared me so much talking to my friend -whom I'm staying with for the moment - her and I were talking about how she misses her brother she lost almost 3 years ago. She was missing him and how she worries about forgetting her brothers smile or laugh or how he use to tease her. I have that same fear about my grandpa but what is different is that she has hope she will see him again some day. I have this panic in my heart that I won't ever get to see my grandpa again. There is that possibility that my grandpa is not in heaven and if I go to heaven I will never see him again. My friends brother was saved and my friend is saved and I sit here in this confusion, questioning my own salvation. It's an awful thought but when I miss my grandpa so much, it almost seem worth to be in hell with him, if he is there. But then I bring myself back to the place of questioning why would I want to be away from God? I don't... I don't want to be away from God, if I could choose to go to Heaven right now, I would choose it.

So for today, I'm going to put a smile on my face and push through the feeling of a broken heart and go to God and suck it up. If I'm grumpy I can shovel the drive way and i'd rather not be out in the cold so I'm going to rejoice because it is a command.

"Rejoice in The Lord; I will say it again: Rejoice!" 

Phillippians 4:4 

Determination

It's still the beginning of 2014 and I am going to try to stay determined to blog more than before, finish school, and stay near to God. I am not really sure how well this will work but I can only try. I love to write but I stumble on my words! So here is just a short post to remind myself that I have set some goals for this year.

Here is to 2014, the year that things will change! 

Puppy Love

2 posts in one day? I am on a roll.

Here is a little cutest for the day;

I have fallen in love with this beautiful chocolate baby girl puppy <3

Dare to Believe

I wasn't sure where to start with this blog post but here we go!

This past week I have stayed with a family that has been close to my heart for a while now. The mom, who is like my mom always says "I can't wait for eternity. It can't come quick enough." That could be taken in different direction but in her eyes, it's to be with God. What else is better than that? Nothing! Nothing will ever be better then being with God face to face and being in heaven.

So many horrible things happen in this world, wicked, wicked things. School shootings, abuse, bomb threats, 9/11, hurricanes, Tsunamis, and whatever else you can think of. We feel like time is going to run out but we get disappointed to realize that our hour glass just flipped itself over again and these tragic things will keep happening. Day after day we think, the sun has set again but tomorrow is a new day that waits to begin. Each day is a gift from God, we aren't guaranteed tomorrow, or the next few seconds. God is coming back some day, could be in the next few minutes or years from now. We will never know, so why waste our lives doing things that don't glorify God?

If you dare to believe in God, you might realize that there is no time to waste or time to just wait around while you waste away. We are going to lose everything here. If we believe all the lies of this world we are going to fall. There is nothing for us here. This world is starting to run on empty for me because I am coming to the point to realize that God is all I need. Nothing in this world is going to satisfy me. My friend is right, eternity can't come quick enough. We are so quick to hold on to things we care about here but Matthew (6:19-20) it tells you not store things up on earth because moth and rust will destroy it, but to lay up treasures in heaven where it won't be destroyed.

We all are blinded by the world at some point and when we realize that we are in the wrong, we need to let God help us. When you can't find your way, He will shine through that haze. We need to open our eyes and find God. I am ready to turn this page in my life to move on as God as my only strength. His will is perfect!

We only get one life. Are you going to make yours count? Are you going to glorify God or are you going to waste away? You choose, you decide if you are going to dare to believe.